I was a beggar and ye gave me food...

I was thinking about Sam's lunch today and how my mom went on a streak of making my lunches in high school, and then how I bought pizza for the longest time, then how good the chocolate cookies were. (My recipe is not as good, but as close as I am going to get.) I remembered that for a time, duration unknown, I would walk around and ask people for money. When I remembered this, I flushed with embarrassment, first, for my mother, then second, for myself. How annoying I must have been, because if I didn't have money, it was sheerly because I was forgetful. Should have had that remembrall!
On the other hand, I was reading in the scriptures where it talks about giving when asked. Something like, if your neighbor asks for something, give him more. Well, today we are surrounded by people who ask for donations. I think it has always been this way, it has just become less personal. On the street, on the phone, via the tv, and occasionally a personal vocal request. At what point do we say no? I know I hang up on everyone. (The quick apology doesn't really make it better) Maybe that isn't that nicest way, but they call back! On the street, if you hand out money (cause this happens and all, and I don't mean getting mugged), then those people would come back too. Mr Fauchelevent, in Les Miserables, he handed out money (becasue he knew the need and was generous), and went for walks on purpose to do so. And if he encountered someone who needed more, he would make arrangements to give it to them. He was truly compassionate, almost to a fault. So how can we be like this in the present day? Granted, he was wealthy, but is it our time that we must give? Or our homemade caramels? (which really is our time) I suspect that giving our time is just as worthy, if not more so, than dropping money in a cup (although it has great merits when it is used properly).

Book Club!!!

Don't forget Book Club on Thursday!
At 6:30.
At my house.

Bring a book you want to read or a suggestion.
I will see you then!

It's not you, It's me...

That famous break up line. I am breaking up with all of you, JUST KIDDING! I messed my blog up somehow, and I have to fix it. But seeing as how I was recently fired from my job as housekeeper, by my boss, Collin, I have to work really hard to earn my non profit position back. I would rather Collin fire our laundry service. She just seems really slackerish lately...

So I was wondering and would like some opinions. I was just having a heart to heart with a dear old gal pal, and realized how vague people are in general. Am I crazy, or do people really talk about nothing all of the time? I guess I have been in the mode of expressing my thoughts to anyone who will hear lately, and it has made me feel a lack of depth in most of what I say. Does everything have to have depth? No. Can't I just participate in idle chitter chatter? I like it, and I do it, but I really love exchanging worthwhile meaningful words. But I also like to be amused, so it is a crafty individual who can provide both. So what do you think? Are people afraid of letting people in and so never delve into the surface of their feelings? Am I just more open than other people or does it just seem that way because I am always around people that I trust? Maybe this doesn't make sense, but not much that is in my head does. Or used to not. It's not you, it's me.

Injustice For All

Well, what is it that makes me crave justice? I suppose that would be my conscience. And my desire to be happy. Here is a fine example for you (no doubt from high school):

Chemistry teacher : I don't care if you copy each other's work, just don't let me see it.
Amanda: Hmmm, I will have to remember that.

Amanda: Hey Chadly, can I borrow your homework? (No? Well, we are sharing a locker, so I will just borrow that and put it back before you go to class!)

Chemistry teacher: Hmmm, what have you got there? That looks like you are copying homework!
Amanda: Class hasn't started and you didn't see me copy it! (I was done, he just assumed I didn't have mine, like usual)

Chemistry teacher: Oh well, I will take both of those, you are both getting big fat zeros!

Amanda: (Oh no! Chadly said I couldn't borrow his homework and now were both getting zeros!) Chad didn't know that I borrowed his homework, so please don't give him a zero.

Well, that is a sad example, but I felt the injustice greatly. He said we could copy! At least he didn't fail dear Chadly. I realize that I was cheating in the first place and deserved every missing point of that grade. I feel the weight of little injustices here and there (maybe you don't) and I realized today that I am hanging on to those threads, demanding justice be served, and who knows if anyone else even remembers it. I can use my energy a little better I think.

Who sliced these tomatoes anyway?

Well, when I worked at Chet's Seafood Restaurant, a great little place to eat without many menu selections, I worked in the kitchen. I made grits and banana pudding and junk like that and I also occasionally sliced the tomatoes. One of the kitchen guys was always complaining about the tomatoes being cut funky, but one day he said "Whoa, who cut the tomatoes?" I owned that I had and he was impressed. Then I always cut the tomatoes. And ever since then I have tried to cut a tomato to this standard. Point being this: Saturday I was slicing tomatoes, and I was slicing it ever so well, and I thought "If Collin would just say hey, you slice tomatoes really well" sometimes it would make me ever so happy. Well, he does do that, just not about tomatoes. And I ought to try doing that too. Sam does it in his own way. He compliments me on the funniest things, like turning the light on or giving him a poptart for breakfast. "Good job momma, you're good at opening the frigerator." So I guess that I could do better, and be a little more complimentary to my family.

Happy Birthday Collin!

Collin is 30 today. I am thankful for such an adoring husband. He works so hard to make me happy, and is a great dad. Thank you sweetie, I love you.

30 things I love and drive me insane about Collin:

He doesn't get mad at me when I eat his cookies.
He lets me pretend I am in charge.
He unloads the dishwasher for me faithfully.
He is super easy to shop for.
He is nice to me, even when I am grumpy.
He supports me in all of my activities and takes me to the temple.

He makes me feel loved, especially when I feel I don't deserve it.
He likes to read books with me. (Although he refuses to read Twilight, but insists on making fun of it, like he is an expert or something)
He is forgiving.
He is a man child.
He wants me to be happy.
He gets mad at me.

He has an annoyingly good work ethic.
He says embarrassing things.
He asks questions that I am afraid to ask.
He tries to make me get over my phone phobia.
He thinks I look good when I look like junk.
He likes everything I cook when we camp.

He is persuadable.
He is cautious, which balances my fierce impulsiveness.
He tells me he will take me golfing. Though doesn't make me go.
He takes the boys fishing.
He loves his family.
He has a great family.

He is stingy with his family time.
He makes sure we have sufficient junk food in the house.
He remembers names of Sam's classmates.
He knows what to do with a tiny baby.
He gets up with the kids at night.
He loves Heavenly Father.

5:25 and not a soul in sight

Its been one of those sleepless nights, and I was yet again crowded out of my bed by boys. I got up walked around, noticed that yeah, I should have done the dishes last night. I really want to do them, but its not worth it to wake up the kids. (Although Sam has been up since at least 5 am. He is such a funny boy. I am sure some have noticed his current clothing trends. He tucks in every shirt, even pajamas. I bribed him not to tuck in his sweater vest on Sunday.) I then thought laundry! Oh, what? I actually have it all folded. That's unheard of.

Well, I had to make myself a list of things to do when situations such as this occur. My newest distraction is Indexing. If you don't know what it is, its a program offered by FamilySearch.org. You download a page of a census and interpret the handwriting and put the info into a form. Its interesting and I finally did a page right and submitted it. It is easy and productive. Its helping me kick my facebook addiction.

So I have been left alone with my thoughts for hours tonight, and usually I drive myself crazy. (Last week, I took a Midol, and had no idea it contained caffeine. Well, I can't think of another time I have had caffeine since I was at Ricks. So I was wired, shaky and very awake. I figured it our by about 4 am. That is ridiculous! ) I was already in a poor frame of mind, and Collin was about to leave for a few days, so I worked myself up good. I decided that thinking is a double edged sword. I think too much and try not to dwell on things and so never really think about anything. Just fleeting glimpses of things I would like to take out and peruse at my leisure, but tonight I decided to face many of those things and wrote about them in my journal, and I feel better. I know what kind of woman I want to be, how far I am from it, and now I have an idea of how to get there.

Calorie Counter

So lately I have been starving. I wake up and think I will never make it because I am so hungry. Well, I do make it and sometimes I make it all morning and forget to eat, and sometimes I am a hobbit and eat first and second breakfast. It feels like I am pregnant. But lets make this clear, I am not. For sure. So, after a few days of this, and a few nights without real dinners, I figure I really need to eat better. I mean I am 30 and my metabolism is 30, my wii fit age is like 43, and I have been finding every reason under the sun not to go walking. (Its too cold, I have a sprained ankle, I can't smell, my blog is lonely...)

The last time I had success I counted calories, and that was great. Except who wants to be obsessed with how many calories are in everything? I tell you people look at you like you're insane when you start spouted off how many calories they are holding in their hands. And I cannot help it. I have to do it. Its a vile compulsion. I feel like there is this wealth of information hanging there between us and I can think of nothing else to say until those words are out. Unfortunately this tends to repulse people, and then I am still left with awkward conversation. Admit it, most of you have experienced odd or gawky conversation with me before. Ah well, we can't all be socially able.

So back to counting those calories. We recently went to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate Collin's 30th birthday. Unfortunately the pinball machine was broken, which is my favorite*, and I like to play games as much as the next kid, but the ticket muncher was working. I haven't showed it to the kids yet. There is an unspoken understanding that I get to so this. And it is likely the only thing I get to do without a child the entire time there. I love to stick a really long string of tickets in and let it get munched. Well this got me thinking: What is I had one of these muncher counter things, but for calories? I could just get a print out at the end of the day, or meal even to see how much I had consumed. Or a scanner in my watch to let me know how much I was about to consume. I realize this is alien technology we are talking about here. I guess I will stick to adding in my head (why use a calculator- there is no room for mistakes) and try to be as happy as I can while stuffing spinach in my mouth.

* We had a pinball machine when I was a child. I loved it, it loved me, and I have never found a pinball game that I like as well.

Book Club Update!!!

Our first club meeting will be at my house,
Thursday, January 29th, at 6:30 pm.
Finish up whatever book you are currently reading and tell us about it!
Bring some ideas for upcoming reads and we will make out a rotation.

This is how I propose we rotate:

Whomever picks the book for February will host
book club at the end of the month.
Do we want to do snacks or a meal?
I think we will start with snacks,
and since I am hosting, I will have them.

Whoever wants to come is welcome!

Book Club- Coming Soon to a Town Near You ( Well near me, at least)

Hey, all you blogstalkers out there, who is interested in coming to my book club? If you are interested, please cast your vote for what day of day of the week, or month, like the second Tuesday of each month. Or whatever. If no one is interested in getting smart and literafied with me, then I will just be more literafied than you. So, vote on a day and if you have a book suggestion, then say so.

The localish library usually has a bookmark with the must reads for the year, and I usually want to read at least half of them, so there will be some classics, but we will mix it up.

So who wants to?

Food Storage, the Obsession

So does anyone have a good food storage inventory system or ideas for one? I think that I started one for my mom when I was in high school. I never finished it. I didn't realize how much she needed it, or I guess I would have. I was a little bit clueless, until about a year ago, (that has improved some, but still working on it) and didn't understand the system that I was making her. I got confused about half way through, I abandoned the project. Wow, how many of those do I have lying around? Unfinished projects, that is.