Friday, July 31, 2009

I never knew...

I had no idea, until recently, that facial hair could be a hobby. A hobby, you say? Yes. A hobby. Apparently there is an attraction for a man to participate in this type of activity, especially is his friends do it. I can only compare this to a woman growing her hair out for Locks of Love, except it's totally different. Unfortunately for me, Collin is dying to do this next May. You may be able to sense my growing excitement about having my husband look like he should be wearing black leather and riding a Hog. Perhaps I will be optimistic and hope for something a little more like Smokey and the Bandit. Or if I am lucky, the Pink Panther.

These are some fine examples:


Here are the rules from americanmustacheinstitute.org:
"The Man Laws of Official Mustache May:
  1. The grandeur of the mustache must be worshiped in truth and singularity. Therefore, no mustache can be accompanied by any other form of facial hair. In other words, don’t hide behind the beard (spousal compromise).
  2. On May first you celebrate and live the Mustached American lifestyle, parading about with a large, unvarnished mustache.
  3. Destroy any DVD or Blue Ray copy of "Sex & the City."
  4. No complaining due to lack of action. It ruins the spirit of the 'stache. We are all in this together and nobody said it would be easy. Be creative with it, like "Ladies, it tickles when we kiss. Wanna try?"
  5. No cats, except in an omelet.
  6. Be proud of your mouth mullet. Don’t avoid public or mingling with the opposite sex because you are ashamed of your facial hair. The hairy upper lip is empowering!
  7. It's not what's on the upper lip, it's what's in your heart. Don’t shirk participation because you think your lip curtain is weak or pathetic. Not everybody can grow a nose garments like Tom Selleck. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team for God sakes.
  8. Never forget Dave Navarro is weak and pathetic. Here's why.
  9. Hook up your fellow Mustache May participants. If you wait tables, free drinks would be an appropriate gesture.
  10. Encourage others to grow the 'stache. It’s liberating, so spread the love.
  11. Applaud anyone who walks by you wearing any semblance of a mustache.

Some of you men may face severe pressure from the ladies in your life to not participate. Here is the secret in helping her become a Mustache enthusiast: Invite her to choose the mustache style for the month. After that, have her shave you down to that sexy mustache she chose. Then it now become "our" mustache and not "your" mustache. She will love it and stand by her man the whole month long."


This is what Collin's is sure to look like:




Home Happenings


You may not think that a bath is noteworthy, but I have not been able to get a picture of this kid in a clean state in a while. He absolutely hates the bath! Do any of your kids act like you are torturing them in the bath? It drives me crazy, and I have been a lazy mom, maybe even horrible, about giving baths this summer. That will end soon.


Horrible Mommy Scenario 2: This is what happens when you lay in bed like you are oblivious to the world around you. It was very cute. Sam got Jacob out of bed, fixed breakfast for all three of them. Of course he was serving cereal, and that is fantastic, but I think he poured an entire quart of milk on Cooper's cereal alone. Thank you Sam.

Ah, yes. Well, Collin uncovered a hive of yellow jackets that were out to get him. So this was his covert operations apparel. I thought it was a bit much, but then again, he didn't get stung by the bees that were desperately seeking him. Thanks for making our yard a safe place, Honey. And our kitchen a humorous one.

Super Cooper built a temple, and it has two Moroni's. I was just happy that he
1) built a structure, 2) called it a temple, and 3) knew Moroni goes on top.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Missing

If anyone knows the location of the following items, I will reward you with a plate of m&m cookies or some such delicacy:

1. The 1st disc of Pride and Prejudice
2. Cooper's MP3 player
3. Sam's MP3 player
4. The book in which I would find all of the family history anwers I need

That is all I am looking for today.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Relief Society Activity!!!

Here are the pics from last night!
I thought they were all very cute, and the activity was
GREAT!
I think I know almost everyone's name now!
Thanks to the party planners!!!
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Sprinklers!

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12:01 am


This is my official review of Harry Potter: It was a great movie. If you are hoping to see Harry Potter through your mind's eye, or even through. JK Rowling's, you may be disappointed, but for the non-purists out there, it is great. We debated the entire drive home about this topic. I firmly believe that Harry Potter fans would like an accurate, or closely accurate film, and that such a thing is possible. (Apparently that is me being negative and pessimistic. Whatever, it kept Collin awake for the drive home.) Thank you Erin for babysitting! I missed all of the good costumes, which included a chicken named Hedwig.







Monday, July 13, 2009

Yikes! A Climber!

This was sweet Jedi Jacob yesterday. Apparently cutting off his own hands. Today Jacob is climbing. He has been getting stuck on the little tykes chair for a while. Yesterday, he figured out how to get off by himself. Today, he can climb the regular chairs, and the table is his new perch. I guess I just thought he would give me a little longer before he started this venture. Climbing at 14 months is by no means a record, I know, but still! Cooper didn't even walk until 17 months.

First Impressions Warrant Second Chances

During one of my brief educational experiences, I took a British Literature class. It was great. I read lots of Old and Middle English, learned how to write a paper properly (not represented in my blogging), and somewhere in there became enamored with Queen Elizabeth. I will admit that I had thought of signing up for the British Novel course. Who wouldn't want to read Jane Austen, or some such author all day and then write a paper about it all night?

The professor looked like Bob Saget. I fully expected this man to act like Bob Saget's character on Full House. (If you have never seen that show, I don't know what planet you live on.) In theory he did. I just imagined he was the real version of Danny Tanner. The way he conducted himself seemed perfectly, awkwardly scripted. I saw him driving his car, perfectly following the speed limit, in a practical car that fit the part. I am sure he would be disappointed that someone thought all of this about him, because I am certain there was a much more interesting side to his life. In fact, I think he may have been quite wild when compared to my opinion of him. This was made clear when I read something he had written or lectured on, that struck me as vulgar; I realized he was probably more like Bob Saget's brand of comedy, rather than the character I had aligned with him in my mind.

*As a side note, it was, however,the first time I ever actually received an A in an English class (that I really earned, I mean). Also, the first time I ever earned an A on a paper. Which is surprising in itself, I know.

Nonetheless, first impressions are usually deceptive, are they not? You can meet someone five times, and from casual conversation, know nothing about them, except that they are a girl and are from Canada. I have been told often that I was not what was expected. Meaning they thought I was frumpy, but then found out that I was awesome. First Impressions was the first title of Pride and Prejudice. Imagine what would have happened if Miss Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy had never recovered from their first impressions of each other: I suspect Jane Austen would not have become so immensely popular, and Mr. Darcy not quite so supremely ideal. I also suspect that if we never take the time to look more closely at people, we will never be friends with them, and probably miss out on something great.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Harry Potter. Tuesday. Midnight.

How did I get this job?

I gave in. I took the still unnamed puppy. There was only one left, and I am sure someone else would have taken it. Or at least taken it to the pound. So why is the girl who is afraid of the dark taking the puppy out in the scary yard at 1 am? Who leaves a box of puppies outside the church anyway? Someone smart, I suppose.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Former Compulsive Liar. Present.

Sometimes I tell a story, give my opinion, or share details of an event, and realize that it may or may not be true. I have been known to make things up. (Like I am a tennis player.) Sometimes, my memory has distorted the actual happening into what I wanted it to be. (Like I am a good tennis player.) I usually am not well informed, and do not have many of the facts, but I like to think that I am an expert. Therefore, I am a self-declared know-it-all, who really only knows what she thinks, what she sees, and what she thinks she sees. Observant as I am, the fine details which I think mean something, usually amount to something excessively unremarkable, and not as romantic as I had imagined.

I do not like to hear bad news. I do not relish in gossip. I do not like to talk about people in any way that may hurt their feelings. But it happens, and I always feel bad. Ask anyone who has been trapped with me for more than a few hours; I end up saying something remotely unkind about someone known or unknown to me. Then I feel such distress that I make my apologies to ears that usually do not remember. I always commit myself to not saying anything about anyone for any of their faults, or personal annoyances, but I am an obvious imperfection in the crowd of humanity, and thus the cycle rounds. See an older post for further examples.

I am also guilty of embellishment, as I previously alluded to, and I am deeply troubled that I may give the wrong impression about myself or my fine abilities. Or anyone else's. These statements are characteristically followed by a statement such as, “Well, I am not really sure it happened that way”, “That isn't what I really said”, or perhaps, “This is only my opinion, please don't take it as doctrine.”

I am a people watcher. I notice mannerisms, and the awkward movements that you always hope no one sees. I notice mispronounced words, incorrect usage, etc. Not that I do not myself make these mistakes, for I am guilty. Reason steps in and tells me that people don't care, and likely do not pay close enough attention to notice such things. So as I watch people, I do not look for imperfection, but good things. In my mind, I find certain files are fuller than others. If I take those items out and arrange them all behind my eyes, I feel like I can tell you a great deal about this person. My conclusions are usually idyllic.

This is not to say that I do not tell the truth in general. For I do tell things as accurately as I can, and often still my tongue for wont of information. I am constantly plagued by things I have said for the truth that may or may not be found in them, but mostly I lack courage to accept that someone may not like what I say; and so I set out to know a detailed knowledge of the subjects on which I express my thoughts. I do not endure any form of rejection well. A tragic, common flaw, yes. I say lots of things that people may not like, but the things that are important to me are hard to say; the stories I want to write are hard to let others hear.

And so much of the time, I remain silent.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Susiecation


As some of you know, especially those of you who were babysitting for me (thank you ever so much!!!), I went to see a good friend of mine for a few days. Somewhere along the way I lost Susie and I am super excited to have found her again (i can't believe i am about to say it! thankyou facebook!). She is the craziest of my friends and always makes me laugh.

In true Amanda fashion, we got lost coming back from the airport. What would a trip be without 3 extra hours in an awesome bug? We saw lots of beautiful landscapes, a Herbie car, and met many people who we thought were insane, but in all actuality, they knew where we were, and we didn't.
We got to spend time at the Greenbrier doing fun things. Facials, pedicures, swimming, sleeping. You know, all of that stuff I didn't know I couldn't live without. I could have just looked at the grounds. It was fantastic.

We also had a very unsuccessful yard sale. No one showed up until 9am. Here, people are knocking on your door at 6am. I was quite relieved actually, we stayed up so late.

We had a fun time, there was lots of laughs, and movies, and music, and it sure was weird being away from my kids for that long. I think I like being responsible for someone else.