Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Treasure Hunters

Apparently, scrapping metal is "all the rage" now.  Actually it has been quite popular for a while, and I am sure that the ole timers don't appreciate the rise in interest, as it takes a hunk out of their work load and profits.  I think it is a wonderful thing.  Taking someone's, let say, discarded water heater that no longer works, is a great service.  It's removal benefits both parties.

Similarly, dumpster diving is also "all the rage".  These people call themselves "Freegans".  Can you guess what they are looking for?  I am all for finding someone else's treasures on the side of the road, or in an actual dumpster.  I have, in fact, been banned, by my darling husband, from bringing another piece of furniture into our house.  (Did he say Garage?  I didn't think so!)  However, these "Freegans" are not dipping into the trash pile for that sweet little rocking chair that just needs a coat of paint.  They are digging for food.  Yup.  Food.  I, personally, must draw the line.  But if that is your main food source, I get it.  The economy is terrible.   But, I am convinced that some of these people are in it for the feeling of espionage one can get from sneaking past a rent-a-cop.

In an unfortunate turn of events, a mixed conglomeration of these bread winning activities has invaded my neighborhood.  My yard, to be exact:
    At approximately 9:38 pm, the other night, the dog was shushed into silence, by The Man of the House.  It was assumed that he, the fearless pup, was claiming his territory from the small bird chirping outside, or a dog walking his owner nearby.  Upon further investigation, The Man of the House peered into the night, shocked to see someone digging through the trash.  His Dear Wife insisted he leave The Man alone.  "After all, dear, we did put some lovely things out there."  
    In her abject nosiness, she too peered from the upstairs window, unseen.  "The Man is dumping out MY trash!"  The Man had just picked up the bag and emptied the unmentionable contents, searching through them for who knows what.  The grass had been defiled.  His Dear Wife's bad kitchen habits revealed!  The Man of the House grabbed his fearless guard dog, and confronted The Man.  The Man rushed off in fear of his is life and The Happy Family was able to sleep peacefully.

Okay, the dude was literally digging through my big green trash can.  I have a problem with this.  Go through my junk beside the can.  Take what you want.   But the trash can is off limits.  I called the City, thinking they would be on my side.  I mean, the trash either belongs to me, or to them.  They said there wasn't anything I could do about it!  Yes, the guy tried to pick up, but I still had to go out there and clean up a bags worth of trash.  At night.  In my PJ's.  Another atrocity.  Is there no where to draw the line?  Can my trash not even have dignity?  Now, I will have to be self-conscious for my trash.  Isn't there an organization that supports the rights of my garbage?  We have some ideas to get back at them.  Or prevent further intrusion.

  • Collect all of dogs refuse for the week, and place in on top (this may not be okay with the city, but ridiculous times call for ridiculous measures!)
  • Booby trap can with pepper spray
  • Placing a sign that says "Our trash is our trash.  Get your own."
  • Placing a brick in each bag (again the city might not be okay with this one)
  • Laying in wait, and taking photos of the offenders, turning them in for littering.  
If you scrap metal, awesome!  If you are a "Freegan",  excellent!  If you love finding treasures, me too!  If you must go through green garbage cans, please have the decency to take the bag home first.  And feel free to leave me a tip under my door mat.