Friday, February 19, 2010


I am currently avoiding the rest of the tasks on my list for today. None of them are especially unpleasant, and some of them are downright enjoyable, but alas, my blood pressure is rising, and I feel the need to delay.
So I will share with you, with words, the two amusing and totally picture worthy snapshots of my day. Sorry no pictures today, folks. You'll have to use your fine imaginations.

First, the boys were playing in the backyard. I had rolled the windows in my car down in the front yard. Jacob had also previously scooted his cozy coupe out to the front porch. I hear yells of distress from Cooper, and I ran as they were coming from the front yard, the escapees. I ran out to see that Jacob had given Cooper a boost with his car, to help him try to climb into my car via the window. No Dukes of Hazard here, please! Unfortunately for Cooper, Jacob had left him in his need, and was hanging from the window. The amusing part is that Cooper's pants and such were creeping down so low that he could have been the poster child for "Crack Kills".

Second, the charming children escaped to the front again, unbeknownst to me. I walk bythe door, wondering why it's left open, and at the same time, wondering why I didn't leave it open because it feels so fantastic out today. Earlier, Jacob had run to the street, stopped, and pointed with murmurs of "I know I shouldn't". I informed him that the street was for cars, not little boys who still sucked on pacifiers. So when I found the door open, I expected to see Cooper diggin up my tomato bush that I have never gotten to, but no! Jacob has pushed his cozy coupe into the street, (has been there for who knows how long) and when he sees me, he proceeds to run his car down the hill. Yay! I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to Josie-Grossie-run fast enough to get him. It was cute, and I am sure that anyone would have seen him and not run over him. It was still very hard not to laugh while scolding him.

Now, back to baking and taming my mane.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Free Admissions

I have been spending most of my early mornings sitting on the freezing leather couch with a babe in arms. A babe that is particular about his covers, and refuses to let them touch his arms, requiring me to freeze or contort my body in unseemly ways to get my arms covered. If I could just remember to put a robe on before I pick him up!
While I have been enjoying these early mornings, wishing for sleep, and waiting for the sun to rise with my almost 2 year old, I have pondered the following things (and found myself guilty):

* I really don't care that my children make race car tracks up and down the hall with (unused) toilet paper. Sure, it is wasteful, and when I run out and am in dire need, I am positive my mind will reflect upon their creations. Until then, I will scold them, but really, it's much easier to pick up than legos. And if they shred it? Bonus! I can vacuum it up!

* I have never really learned how to accept disappointments. Like not buying the dishes I wanted from Target 2 years ago, that they obviously no longer carry now that I have money to buy them, or the time I got written up in the 6th grade for mouthing an obscenity at a jerk-kid who just yelled one at me (he didn't get written up and I did and it ruined my perfect record).
And I don't know how to let other people be disappointed either.

* It is shameful how much housework I do not do. Please do not look at my bathroom or behind the couch. My kids know they aren't allowed to eat in the living room. I know that my kids aren't allowed to eat in the living room, but alas! I still find candy wrappers and occasionally a juice box behind the couch, in their own personal land fill. I think I always get the point in my pregnancy when I realistically cannot keep up with all of the shenanigans around me, and not be more exhausted than I am now. It does seem that it would be easier take a torch to the bathroom than clean it.

* I make lots of excuses. I realized this as I was giving my mom a list of bogus reasons that I do not regularly take my vitamins. This was called the "Dear Liza" syndrome when I was a teenager. My sister would always start singing "There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza..." when I wouldn't accept anyone's solution to my problem, or their suggestions of what to wear.

* I have a lot more gray hair than I thought, and I hate coloring it. I find it to be an evil trap. And every time I begin the viscous cycle, I end up with black hair. Unflattering, unbelievably black hair. Maybe I will stick with highlights.

* I like reading sad books. Edith Wharton really didn't write any heart warmers. And apparently I like to cry. Collin still states that I have a heart of stone, and is sure my tears are residue of hormones gone wild.

* I currently see that my child is potentially making a huge mess, doing the dishes and all, however, I don't really care. It's more energy efficient to clean the mess up when he is done. However, he is taking some of the dishes in to the living room, and that is where I draw the line!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I really and truly wish that I had something to blog about. However, I find that my life is pretty unexciting right now. Don't get me wrong, it is exciting that we are having a baby soon. Otherwise, Jacob's escapades are about the most compelling thing around here, next to cereal being stuck to the floor, which was probably caused by said child.

The highlights:
*I fell flat on my stomach yesterday, slicing my hand open at the same time.
Just evidence that 1) The human body is designed to protect a developing child, 2) I should have promptly replaced the huge box of bandaids that Jacob threw into the toilet, and 3) No matter if I have blood dripping from my hand, Cooper will still cry about his orange not getting peeled. ( I did empty 6 storage bins of baby clothes, the actual highlight! That's what I was working on when I got up to save Cooper from Jacob, who was whacking him in the head with a folding chair)

*Collin returns from his trip two weeks early. Thus giving me a break from putting the kids into bed. Actually I prefer bedtime. If I had a choice, I would scrap the morning routine all together if I could. I just cannot get enough sleep. And it's not like the male people in my house leave me any hot water in the morning. I would also put Sam on the bus if it didn't come before he even wakes up. I would also let him buy a lunch every day, if he would eat it. That would make life much easier. Not that it is that hard, I just really like it when Collin feeds the kids in the morning. I really shouldn't complain, though I do. I have such wonderful people in my life, enough to make up for any disappointments that may come. So thanks for being so great!

*I have been enjoying a BBC movie marathon. Really if you have not had the pleasure of watching any of the Elizabeth Gaskell movies, you should. Such bliss. If you like that kind of stuff. I am not really sure why I am not watching the last one right now, in fact. Maybe because Jacob turns the TV off every five seconds.

*I realized this week that my children (some of them, okay, just Sam) comprehend my sarcasm, which makes me feel like a bad mom. But at least they know how to detect it, I guess. Well, I have far too many other flaws to worry about, so I will consider that spilled milk.

*Sam can carry a tune. A new and exciting development in our house. I am determined to start now to teach him the primary songs for this year. That and to not act like a monkey when standing in front of the congregation performing with the Primary. I am sure some of you have witnessed his skills. While I love making people laugh, that is just embarrassing. Especially when they are 7. So the bribery begins. Candy motivates. The only reason I memorized the scriptures in seminary was to get candy. (It's the childhood greed that I still have not outgrown.) Hopefully he will even have a cavity to show for it. In fact, I may request a silver crown with a music note punched out. Then he will always remember his hard work.