Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Not my child...

Samuel went on a field trip today, and I have no pictures of him skating, or climbing rock walls, etc, because I am a bad mom and didn't go. Something about being pregnant and roller skating. I always want to, and I am sure that many others may be adept enough to do so, but I am extremely coordinated and wouldn't want to make the 1st graders feel bad.

I gave Samuel $16 to spend. A very generous amount, but I thought, "He is going to be there all day, and it was all allocated for certain things. This is where I doubt that he is mine. He brought back $6.25. I was really shocked, and impressed. When my lovely momacita gave me money, I used it all. When she gave me a twenty, and asked for change, I literally brought her change. (At least 75 cents, three quarters is a lot, right?) Collin is telling me as I type that he always brought back change. So, I guess there is hope that Sam will be less impulsive than I. Thanks for contributing your more level headed, sensible genes, Honey!

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas...

I am sure I remember it snowing one Christmas in my youth, however, my sister just informed that I am crazy. Well, she doesn't remember anyway. According to Wikipedia, it never snowed on Christmas in my county. I still think it did. Probably the year that my dear brothers threw my doll carriage into the tree tops, and was never recovered. I obviously never recovered from that particular trauma. I remember looking for it even after we moved. Sigh...

So while I am dreaming of a White Christmas, I will also dream of clean toilets and self-cleaning clothing. It is a proven fact, at least in my house, that if a clean, fresh bath mat gets put down one of the following will occur, in record time:

1) Some little boy, will be too distracted to aim properly,
2) Some other little boy will put "some little boy's" shirt, socks, or toothbrush in said toilet, making a large splash in the process of retrieving treasured item, OR
3) Some other bigger boy will use so much toilet paper, it must overflow. The attraction to the floor mat is too great!

Well, I guess I may still get the "White Christmas", just not the way I want.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

(Almost) Finished Project...

I have been planning to redo this china cabinet since I was pregnant with Cooper. Procrastinate much? Four years and 2.5 children later, it's almost complete. Thanks to my lovely momacita, we finally started the dreaded project!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

For anyone who wants to know...

We are having a girl! (April 15th ish)

Responses from our dear children:

Cooper: In the car, way after the fact, "Mom, I don't want a girl."
Me: "Do you mean you don't want a sister?"
Cooper: "Yeah, Elizabeth is mean to me." About two months ago, his friend took his paintbrush. He isn't a grudge holder or anything.

About 11 hours later:

Me: "Cooper do you want to tell Sam what kind of baby we are getting?"
Cooper: "Yeah! Sam, we are getting a brother!"
Me: "No, actually it is a girl."
Sam: With the cutest little about-to-be tears in his eyes, "A sister? Really? A girl?" Followed by hugs and much happiness, as he has been begging me to produce a sister for him for the past 2 years.

Cooper is now happy about it, and Sam's reaction was priceless. Collin seems to think that we are nearing the finish line now that our collection is near completion. Hmmm. Ask me in about 3 years for an accurate, non-hormone influenced answer.

Monday, November 9, 2009

No, Sam, You Can't Have Sideburns.

Samuel occasionally wants a certain hairstyle. "I wanna spike it in the front", or "This part is too pokey looking." Usually he wants whatever will get him off the dreaded chair the fastest. "I want my hair long on top", "I want it long in the back", or as he professed on Saturday,
"I want sideburns."

You may not be able to glimpse his chops all that great, but there they are. He turned 7, by the way. Which is weird! Happy Birthday to him! He received some great gifts, his favorite being this bow and arrow. Thanks Ryan and Neisha!

He thinks he is Robin Hood now. It's really fun, and he is very generous with his turns. He was looking for a bear to shoot on Saturday. I assured him that his best bet would be a squirrel, and that he should just stick with the paper target, since I am not ready for him to hunt, and am not really confident that he could choose appropriate living targets.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Quick Photo Update...

This is Jacob looking innocent. He is the most mischievous child I have. He is the one who touched the hot oven every time its on, and never learns. He is constantly getting into everything. He loves appliances with cords. Curling irons and hand mixers are his favorite right now. The chairs are all in the garage so he can't climb, and I am just waiting for him to learn to open the fridge. I am amazed daily that he hasn't tried to climb out of his bed, or hasn't has success anyway.

I took Cooper and Madeline fishing last week. We only caught a little lake grass, however. They loved it though!

Sam has a wicked set of teeth right now. One of his front teeth will not let go, and is hanging crooked. Its disturbing to look at, even his teacher begged me to pull it out! But with his other loose tooth, and his new tooth coming in, it makes a pretty picture worthy!

Halloween kiddos: Jango Fett, Harry Potter, and Charlie Brown (who did not get rocks)

Monday, September 14, 2009

You are FIRED!

"Honey, the freezer got left open and is completely defrosted." Well, this is what every woman wants to hear at 5:58 am. Awesome. Followed by: "And Cooper wet his bed." Then I hear for the vast majority of the day, different rendetions, mind you: "Whaaaaaaaaa!"

So Sam indeed left the freezer open yesterday morning, after obtaining a gogurt. My mistake, I should have put his snacks in the inside freezer, or at least checked the freezer to make sure it wasn't standing wide open before I went off to enjoy a blissful night of sleep.

And Cooper indeed, did wet his bed this morning. Not in the middle of the night, for which I am very glad, but wet pee pee sheets are wet pee pee sheets.

Jacob is a different story. He is 17 months today. (One more month until nursery! ) I am reminded of a time when I worked as a temp. I apparently worked too fast. They told me to slow down and pace myself. Sure in a hotdog eating contest, I thought. But time and time again, I ran out of work. I was just too efficient! And I didn't have anything to worry about like real work. I was frustrating the project leader, probably because my amazing work and fantastic hair was making him look bad. Well, Jacob is making me look bad. He is most efficient at his work. And he has fantastic hair. I have tried the same stategy! Slow down! Pace yourself! One box of Legos is enough to dump out at one time! Climbing on the counter is not permitted! Especially when you dump out my purse, or throw my cup of water on the floor! His ground tactics are bad enough. He likes to put things in the toilet. Most recently: Sam's underwear. He likes to hang out in my fridge too, so I find bottles of salad dressing all over the house. He is a master of devastation and destruction. he is just too good at his job. Can't I fire him for this?

Good news for all of you! He is for hire. His current skills include: ironing, destroying phones, spraying the junky clorox ready mop all over the house, bringing in toys covered with dirt, and cleaning the bathroom floors with bath water.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

We Heart the Zoo

Today we went to the zoo in Montgomery. It was a splendid, hot day full of trying to 1) keep up with Sam as he ran ahead to each exhibit, and 2) keep Cooper moving fast enough so that we could actually look like we were part of the same family. The monkeys were mostly in hiding, but we brought our own, so that worked out okay. And all of the cool animals were sleeping, but what else should I have expected going at lunch time? We decided to go to Sonic afterwards, opting to get a cheaper lunch, and of course the kids want to eat at the tables. This is something I usually would deny them with a false promise of future payout. However, why not? At least Collin was with me. It was REALLY annoying that Jacob kept pushing the call button and examining car tires (at least he wasn't eating them - sorry Christy, I couldn't resist). So we get our food and get everyone settled and finish our slushies before eating our food, and suddenly it turns into this:

Next thing we know, is the wind is blowing like a hurricane. I can see children watching us anxiously, if not amusedly, as our napkins and bags fly everywhere. I got my hands holding all of the paper down when Coopers french fries start flying past me. Then goes Sam's slushie. "Ma'am? Can I have a new cup? Thanks!" So Collin picks up the trash and puts the rioting kids in the car. I was contemplating how to get the remains of their food in the car, for we had used their bags as plates, and each had a nice glob of ketchup right on top. But the wind had it in for me, and thwarting me all the while, blew them right onto my pants. Sweet! "Ma'am? Could I get another bag? Thanks!" And thanks for watching all of this happen with your mouth hanging open. So leftovers in a bag, trash picked up, me covered in ketchup, we settled into the car and headed home before the torrential downpour. At least we had that going for us.
We had a great time and I have never had a more exciting time at Sonic.

Friday, July 31, 2009

I never knew...

I had no idea, until recently, that facial hair could be a hobby. A hobby, you say? Yes. A hobby. Apparently there is an attraction for a man to participate in this type of activity, especially is his friends do it. I can only compare this to a woman growing her hair out for Locks of Love, except it's totally different. Unfortunately for me, Collin is dying to do this next May. You may be able to sense my growing excitement about having my husband look like he should be wearing black leather and riding a Hog. Perhaps I will be optimistic and hope for something a little more like Smokey and the Bandit. Or if I am lucky, the Pink Panther.

These are some fine examples:

Here are the rules from
"The Man Laws of Official Mustache May:
  1. The grandeur of the mustache must be worshiped in truth and singularity. Therefore, no mustache can be accompanied by any other form of facial hair. In other words, don’t hide behind the beard (spousal compromise).
  2. On May first you celebrate and live the Mustached American lifestyle, parading about with a large, unvarnished mustache.
  3. Destroy any DVD or Blue Ray copy of "Sex & the City."
  4. No complaining due to lack of action. It ruins the spirit of the 'stache. We are all in this together and nobody said it would be easy. Be creative with it, like "Ladies, it tickles when we kiss. Wanna try?"
  5. No cats, except in an omelet.
  6. Be proud of your mouth mullet. Don’t avoid public or mingling with the opposite sex because you are ashamed of your facial hair. The hairy upper lip is empowering!
  7. It's not what's on the upper lip, it's what's in your heart. Don’t shirk participation because you think your lip curtain is weak or pathetic. Not everybody can grow a nose garments like Tom Selleck. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team for God sakes.
  8. Never forget Dave Navarro is weak and pathetic. Here's why.
  9. Hook up your fellow Mustache May participants. If you wait tables, free drinks would be an appropriate gesture.
  10. Encourage others to grow the 'stache. It’s liberating, so spread the love.
  11. Applaud anyone who walks by you wearing any semblance of a mustache.

Some of you men may face severe pressure from the ladies in your life to not participate. Here is the secret in helping her become a Mustache enthusiast: Invite her to choose the mustache style for the month. After that, have her shave you down to that sexy mustache she chose. Then it now become "our" mustache and not "your" mustache. She will love it and stand by her man the whole month long."

This is what Collin's is sure to look like:

Home Happenings

You may not think that a bath is noteworthy, but I have not been able to get a picture of this kid in a clean state in a while. He absolutely hates the bath! Do any of your kids act like you are torturing them in the bath? It drives me crazy, and I have been a lazy mom, maybe even horrible, about giving baths this summer. That will end soon.

Horrible Mommy Scenario 2: This is what happens when you lay in bed like you are oblivious to the world around you. It was very cute. Sam got Jacob out of bed, fixed breakfast for all three of them. Of course he was serving cereal, and that is fantastic, but I think he poured an entire quart of milk on Cooper's cereal alone. Thank you Sam.

Ah, yes. Well, Collin uncovered a hive of yellow jackets that were out to get him. So this was his covert operations apparel. I thought it was a bit much, but then again, he didn't get stung by the bees that were desperately seeking him. Thanks for making our yard a safe place, Honey. And our kitchen a humorous one.

Super Cooper built a temple, and it has two Moroni's. I was just happy that he
1) built a structure, 2) called it a temple, and 3) knew Moroni goes on top.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


If anyone knows the location of the following items, I will reward you with a plate of m&m cookies or some such delicacy:

1. The 1st disc of Pride and Prejudice
2. Cooper's MP3 player
3. Sam's MP3 player
4. The book in which I would find all of the family history anwers I need

That is all I am looking for today.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Relief Society Activity!!!

Here are the pics from last night!
I thought they were all very cute, and the activity was
I think I know almost everyone's name now!
Thanks to the party planners!!!
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009


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12:01 am

This is my official review of Harry Potter: It was a great movie. If you are hoping to see Harry Potter through your mind's eye, or even through. JK Rowling's, you may be disappointed, but for the non-purists out there, it is great. We debated the entire drive home about this topic. I firmly believe that Harry Potter fans would like an accurate, or closely accurate film, and that such a thing is possible. (Apparently that is me being negative and pessimistic. Whatever, it kept Collin awake for the drive home.) Thank you Erin for babysitting! I missed all of the good costumes, which included a chicken named Hedwig.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Yikes! A Climber!

This was sweet Jedi Jacob yesterday. Apparently cutting off his own hands. Today Jacob is climbing. He has been getting stuck on the little tykes chair for a while. Yesterday, he figured out how to get off by himself. Today, he can climb the regular chairs, and the table is his new perch. I guess I just thought he would give me a little longer before he started this venture. Climbing at 14 months is by no means a record, I know, but still! Cooper didn't even walk until 17 months.

First Impressions Warrant Second Chances

During one of my brief educational experiences, I took a British Literature class. It was great. I read lots of Old and Middle English, learned how to write a paper properly (not represented in my blogging), and somewhere in there became enamored with Queen Elizabeth. I will admit that I had thought of signing up for the British Novel course. Who wouldn't want to read Jane Austen, or some such author all day and then write a paper about it all night?

The professor looked like Bob Saget. I fully expected this man to act like Bob Saget's character on Full House. (If you have never seen that show, I don't know what planet you live on.) In theory he did. I just imagined he was the real version of Danny Tanner. The way he conducted himself seemed perfectly, awkwardly scripted. I saw him driving his car, perfectly following the speed limit, in a practical car that fit the part. I am sure he would be disappointed that someone thought all of this about him, because I am certain there was a much more interesting side to his life. In fact, I think he may have been quite wild when compared to my opinion of him. This was made clear when I read something he had written or lectured on, that struck me as vulgar; I realized he was probably more like Bob Saget's brand of comedy, rather than the character I had aligned with him in my mind.

*As a side note, it was, however,the first time I ever actually received an A in an English class (that I really earned, I mean). Also, the first time I ever earned an A on a paper. Which is surprising in itself, I know.

Nonetheless, first impressions are usually deceptive, are they not? You can meet someone five times, and from casual conversation, know nothing about them, except that they are a girl and are from Canada. I have been told often that I was not what was expected. Meaning they thought I was frumpy, but then found out that I was awesome. First Impressions was the first title of Pride and Prejudice. Imagine what would have happened if Miss Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy had never recovered from their first impressions of each other: I suspect Jane Austen would not have become so immensely popular, and Mr. Darcy not quite so supremely ideal. I also suspect that if we never take the time to look more closely at people, we will never be friends with them, and probably miss out on something great.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Harry Potter. Tuesday. Midnight.

How did I get this job?

I gave in. I took the still unnamed puppy. There was only one left, and I am sure someone else would have taken it. Or at least taken it to the pound. So why is the girl who is afraid of the dark taking the puppy out in the scary yard at 1 am? Who leaves a box of puppies outside the church anyway? Someone smart, I suppose.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Former Compulsive Liar. Present.

Sometimes I tell a story, give my opinion, or share details of an event, and realize that it may or may not be true. I have been known to make things up. (Like I am a tennis player.) Sometimes, my memory has distorted the actual happening into what I wanted it to be. (Like I am a good tennis player.) I usually am not well informed, and do not have many of the facts, but I like to think that I am an expert. Therefore, I am a self-declared know-it-all, who really only knows what she thinks, what she sees, and what she thinks she sees. Observant as I am, the fine details which I think mean something, usually amount to something excessively unremarkable, and not as romantic as I had imagined.

I do not like to hear bad news. I do not relish in gossip. I do not like to talk about people in any way that may hurt their feelings. But it happens, and I always feel bad. Ask anyone who has been trapped with me for more than a few hours; I end up saying something remotely unkind about someone known or unknown to me. Then I feel such distress that I make my apologies to ears that usually do not remember. I always commit myself to not saying anything about anyone for any of their faults, or personal annoyances, but I am an obvious imperfection in the crowd of humanity, and thus the cycle rounds. See an older post for further examples.

I am also guilty of embellishment, as I previously alluded to, and I am deeply troubled that I may give the wrong impression about myself or my fine abilities. Or anyone else's. These statements are characteristically followed by a statement such as, “Well, I am not really sure it happened that way”, “That isn't what I really said”, or perhaps, “This is only my opinion, please don't take it as doctrine.”

I am a people watcher. I notice mannerisms, and the awkward movements that you always hope no one sees. I notice mispronounced words, incorrect usage, etc. Not that I do not myself make these mistakes, for I am guilty. Reason steps in and tells me that people don't care, and likely do not pay close enough attention to notice such things. So as I watch people, I do not look for imperfection, but good things. In my mind, I find certain files are fuller than others. If I take those items out and arrange them all behind my eyes, I feel like I can tell you a great deal about this person. My conclusions are usually idyllic.

This is not to say that I do not tell the truth in general. For I do tell things as accurately as I can, and often still my tongue for wont of information. I am constantly plagued by things I have said for the truth that may or may not be found in them, but mostly I lack courage to accept that someone may not like what I say; and so I set out to know a detailed knowledge of the subjects on which I express my thoughts. I do not endure any form of rejection well. A tragic, common flaw, yes. I say lots of things that people may not like, but the things that are important to me are hard to say; the stories I want to write are hard to let others hear.

And so much of the time, I remain silent.

Thursday, July 2, 2009