Monday, September 14, 2009

You are FIRED!

"Honey, the freezer got left open and is completely defrosted." Well, this is what every woman wants to hear at 5:58 am. Awesome. Followed by: "And Cooper wet his bed." Then I hear for the vast majority of the day, different rendetions, mind you: "Whaaaaaaaaa!"

So Sam indeed left the freezer open yesterday morning, after obtaining a gogurt. My mistake, I should have put his snacks in the inside freezer, or at least checked the freezer to make sure it wasn't standing wide open before I went off to enjoy a blissful night of sleep.

And Cooper indeed, did wet his bed this morning. Not in the middle of the night, for which I am very glad, but wet pee pee sheets are wet pee pee sheets.

Jacob is a different story. He is 17 months today. (One more month until nursery! ) I am reminded of a time when I worked as a temp. I apparently worked too fast. They told me to slow down and pace myself. Sure in a hotdog eating contest, I thought. But time and time again, I ran out of work. I was just too efficient! And I didn't have anything to worry about like real work. I was frustrating the project leader, probably because my amazing work and fantastic hair was making him look bad. Well, Jacob is making me look bad. He is most efficient at his work. And he has fantastic hair. I have tried the same stategy! Slow down! Pace yourself! One box of Legos is enough to dump out at one time! Climbing on the counter is not permitted! Especially when you dump out my purse, or throw my cup of water on the floor! His ground tactics are bad enough. He likes to put things in the toilet. Most recently: Sam's underwear. He likes to hang out in my fridge too, so I find bottles of salad dressing all over the house. He is a master of devastation and destruction. he is just too good at his job. Can't I fire him for this?

Good news for all of you! He is for hire. His current skills include: ironing, destroying phones, spraying the junky clorox ready mop all over the house, bringing in toys covered with dirt, and cleaning the bathroom floors with bath water.

12 comments:

Tim and Monique said...

I'll hire him!!! Although he would probably cry like in that picture!!

Christina said...

It's so sad when they transform from cute babies to naughty toddlers. I'm interested to know what you did with all the defrosted food. Apparently it's safe to refreeze meat, I can't guarantee that it would taste good though.

J said...

Perhaps he would enjoying teaming up with my older two...I'm quite certain, with a united effort, the three of them could completely demolish a home in NO time!

Hope today is better.

Some days are just like that. :)

Christy said...

How long has it been since I've checked out your blog? Too long! You are so funny. I love how after the fact, when you lovingly write about something it suddenly becomes humorous. I don't know about you but my screaming always seems to be drowning out the humor.

Christy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manda Mae said...

I would do the hiring but I have my own "temps" that keep me quite occupied and help me maintain a nice bald spot from anxiety where i feel the need to pull my hair from all the excitement! Thanks for the offer... but at this time... THE POSITION HAS BEEN FILLED!

--God Bless Mommies of only Boys!!!

Liz said...

Oh amanda!!! Well, I can't give any advise, my kiddos are still playing with all their friends in heaven. :) So, no experience muchacha, but I'm sure I'll get a ton of crazies and sass-mouths like I was as a kid, yay! :) We miss you guys! I'm so glad we finally got together before we left!

Steve & Jenny said...

Oops! That message from Liz is from me, I forgot that my sister in law was signed in. :)

Jessica said...

I'm afraid the position is already filled at our house. Good luck.

Christy said...

I think Duncan would like to join Jacob, maybe become a tag team. He's just as destructive. Hopefully, it is just a phase!

Aubrey & Cheyenne Martin said...

Sounds like you guys never have a dull moment! I was actually thinking about you the other day and I'm so glad you left a comment on my blog. I was about to go through all my posts from the last year and find your blog link with one of your comments.

Troy and Rebekah said...

Ha, Ha! That'll teach you to not be so efficient. Oh how I miss my Alabama buddies! I still feel bad that we didn't stop by to say adios when we left. Things just snowballed until a month or two after we got back to Utah. I finally feel somekind of stability. But I've thought about you often and will call someday, sometime, somewhere. I just love you and think that you are a one of a kind awesome gal. Miss seeing you at choir practice. :(
Rebekah