Friday, July 31, 2009

I never knew...

I had no idea, until recently, that facial hair could be a hobby. A hobby, you say? Yes. A hobby. Apparently there is an attraction for a man to participate in this type of activity, especially is his friends do it. I can only compare this to a woman growing her hair out for Locks of Love, except it's totally different. Unfortunately for me, Collin is dying to do this next May. You may be able to sense my growing excitement about having my husband look like he should be wearing black leather and riding a Hog. Perhaps I will be optimistic and hope for something a little more like Smokey and the Bandit. Or if I am lucky, the Pink Panther.

These are some fine examples:

Here are the rules from
"The Man Laws of Official Mustache May:
  1. The grandeur of the mustache must be worshiped in truth and singularity. Therefore, no mustache can be accompanied by any other form of facial hair. In other words, don’t hide behind the beard (spousal compromise).
  2. On May first you celebrate and live the Mustached American lifestyle, parading about with a large, unvarnished mustache.
  3. Destroy any DVD or Blue Ray copy of "Sex & the City."
  4. No complaining due to lack of action. It ruins the spirit of the 'stache. We are all in this together and nobody said it would be easy. Be creative with it, like "Ladies, it tickles when we kiss. Wanna try?"
  5. No cats, except in an omelet.
  6. Be proud of your mouth mullet. Don’t avoid public or mingling with the opposite sex because you are ashamed of your facial hair. The hairy upper lip is empowering!
  7. It's not what's on the upper lip, it's what's in your heart. Don’t shirk participation because you think your lip curtain is weak or pathetic. Not everybody can grow a nose garments like Tom Selleck. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team for God sakes.
  8. Never forget Dave Navarro is weak and pathetic. Here's why.
  9. Hook up your fellow Mustache May participants. If you wait tables, free drinks would be an appropriate gesture.
  10. Encourage others to grow the 'stache. It’s liberating, so spread the love.
  11. Applaud anyone who walks by you wearing any semblance of a mustache.

Some of you men may face severe pressure from the ladies in your life to not participate. Here is the secret in helping her become a Mustache enthusiast: Invite her to choose the mustache style for the month. After that, have her shave you down to that sexy mustache she chose. Then it now become "our" mustache and not "your" mustache. She will love it and stand by her man the whole month long."

This is what Collin's is sure to look like:


Manda Mae said...

though you make an EXCELLENT argument... I feel that if my husband felt the need for a 'stache I would forbid him to walk in my general direction, breathe in my general direction and/or pretend that he may in any way shape or form... "know me"... ha!! You are a better woman than me... YOU GO GIRL!!

amanda said...

Don't believe for a second that I am supportive of this!

Jessica said...

sorta makes me want to stop waxing.

Christy said...

Funny! When Brandon came home from SERE, he had a mustache that made him look exactly like Hitler. Not so funny. (He He!)